The California Here We Come Syndrome
by ChandaK562
Summary: After their home is destroyed, the MiB head west
1. Default Chapter

**The California Here We Come Syndrome**

Elle slowly moved through the rubble of the agents' living quarters, trying hard not to cry. The main building had been bad enough but here.... They had given up their old lives for MiB and now everything from their new lives was gone too.

"My crystals are safe!" X called as he came out of his room with a couple of large bags.

"Lucky you," Elle murmured as she pushed through the debris trying to reach her room. The door was totally blocked though. Just then she heard a faint meowing from inside.

"Orion?" she called, frantically pulling at the rubble trying to clear the door before finally reaching a piece much to big to move. She pounded her hands against it in frustration. She had been sure that her poor cat was gone and now he might as well be.

Suddenly a dark shadow appeared behind her and then X was there, reaching out and shoving the debris away. "Humans. Always need an alien to rescue you," he muttered.

"Elle shook her head as she pushed the damaged door open and went in, scooping up her cat the moment she spotted him and hugging him close. So much was gone. She fought back tears as she slowly moved around the room, seeing what could be saved.

*******

A little while later, Elle joined the rest of the agents who were assembled with any salvaged possessions waiting to hear what Zed had to say about the reconstruction. She looked curiously at the worms, who were hurrying past her, two clutching a large box and the other two pulling a cart loaded down with cans of coffee.

"Well, I have good news for a change," Zed said as he addressed the crowd. "I've been in touch with our Japanese branch, which luckily escaped this attack unscathed, and they have a plan to raise the funds for repairs to headquarters. Some sort of new toy, I understand."

"A toy? Do they really expect to make enough money to replace all of this?" X called.

"According to the head, Sonomi, they will," Zed said. "Of course, until things are repaired, we have no place to live. Fortunately, there was only minor damage to MiB Hollywood, so I've made arrangements to temporarily move operations west. I will be staying here to oversee the repairs so Kay will be in charge while you are in California. Report to Agent U to pick up your plane tickets."

"California? Are there a lot of humans there?" X asked as he followed Elle over to U, who was passing out envelopes to various agents.

"Of course there are," Elle said as she reached U and he handed her a thick envelope.

"Oh, Agent Elle, Agent X, you'll be escorting the worms and Frank the Pug as well as his family," U stared down at his notes when he saw that. "You'll find their tickets in the envelope as well."

"Oh, great," Elle muttered as she moved away, opening the envelope to see where they were seating. She cringed when she saw that her party had been assigned to couch. She hated couch!

"What seats did you get?" Jay said as he came over waving an evelope. "First class all the way here! One of the benefits of being partners with Kay. They assigned seats based on senority!"

Elle glared at Jay, sending him fleeing as X came over followed by the worms, disguised as human children that were maybe eight years old. A couple of the worms were lagging the cart, with Frank and his family securely fastened into a pet carrier on top of the pile of coffee.

"Here," X said as he shoved another carrier at her. "That cat will have to be checked with the bags."

"This is so unfair," Elle murmured as she patted Orion's head before stuffing him in with reassurances that he wouldn't be locked up for long.

Just then, Zed strolled past them, clutching a newspaper under his arm. The worms caught sight of it and cringed. A couple of them quickly reached out and snagged Elle, pulling her towards the SUV as the others raced to load the coffee and other bags. "Don't want to miss our flight!" one of the worms said as Elle sighed loudly. She was never going to survive this trip 


	2. Chapter 2

Elle staggered down the aisle of the plane, clutching Frank's carrier and trying to keep up with the worms. "Uh.... Boys!" she called. She couldn't believe that whoever arranged these tickets expected her to play mommy for four worms. "Slow down! Wait for me!"

"Coffee!" One of the worms cried when he spotted the pot in the back in the stewardess's work area.

"Sit down!" Elle frantically motioned to the worms with her free hand. Why wasn't X helping her? He had been assigned to play father to the worms. She looked back to see him protectively clutching the bag with his crystals inside with both hands. She shook her head at that. It looked like she was on her own with the worms.

"Ma'am, that dog needs to be checked with the bags," a perky blonde stewardess said as she came over. Elle had a feeling she was going to be a lot less perky by the time that this flight was over.

"Here's his ticket," Elle muttered as she fumbled in the envelope while keeping one eye on the worms whom had cornered another stewardess in and were demanding coffee. "Boys, get back here! They'll bring you coffee in a few minutes!"

"You let your children drink coffee?" an older woman who was seated across the aisle said with a disapproving expression.

"It's our religion," Elle muttered as she fiddled around trying to fasten Frank's carrier into his seat.

"Coffee will stunt their growth," the woman muttered.

"That's what we're hoping for," Elle mumbled as she thought of how large the Worm Emperor was. She finally secured Frank and hurried after the worms, catching them and dragging them to their seats.

"Just sit here and be good." Elle told them sternly as she fastened their seatbelts. One of the worms was clutching a large can of coffee while another had a thermos. They all had their favorite mugs. Elle motioned to the stewardess. "Can we get four cups of coffee over here?"

A few minutes later, worms safely supplied with the sacred bean, Elle collapsed into her seat. Of course, X had taken the good window seat, forcing her to sit on the aisle. Suddenly, she caught a whiff of some terrible odor. "What's that smell?" she muttered.

"Not me," Frank whispered from the carrier.

"Uh...."

"X, you didn't take a shower to wash off the pig, did you?" Elle moaned.

"Where was I going to find working plumbing?" X grumbled. "Believe me, I'm not happy about the smell either."

Elle slumped back in her seat with a loud sigh. She was never going to survive this flight.


	3. Chapter 3

Elle softly sighed. Three more hours to go. She would never make it. The worms had been calling the stewardess every three minutes on the dot for coffee refills, earning her angry glares from the poor woman as well as her fellow passengers who were all looking at her like she was a terrible mother.

"What is this?" X asked as he poked something lumpy and gray on the meal tray in front of him. They had finally been served their food a few minutes before.

"Turkey surprise," Elle muttered. X hadn't exactly been on his best behavior either, growling at the stewardess when she had tried to fasten his seatbelt for him and refusing to put his crystals in the overhead compartment, complaining they would get grubby little opposable thumb prints on them if they were touched.

"What's the surprise? What the turkey died of is contagious?" X said loudly as he looked down at the gray lump again, earning them stares from all of the passengers within earshot.

"Be quiet and eat it!" Elle shouted as she reached out, snatched his fork and jammed a bit into his mouth. Maybe she would be lucky. Maybe what had killed the turkey would kill X and she would get some peace and quiet.

A few minutes later she looked up to see Jay coming down the aisle, to her surprise clutching a glass filled with what looked like champagne.

"Man, they really know how to treat you in first class. We had steak!" Jay said with a huge smile as he looked down at Elle. "Kay told me to come back and check on things before they start the movie. So, how are things going back here? Comfy?"

"Hardly," Elle muttered as she glared at him.

"First they served poisoned turkey!" X said loudly. "And now they're getting ready to show slides from the stewardess's trip to some place called Guano Guano!"

"X, be quiet," Elle hissed. Then she looked up at Jay. "Uh, I don't suppose you would be interested in trading seats for awhile, would you?"

"No can do. Kay needs me to help him with some stuff," Jay said with a smile as he turned to the worms. "So, how are you four enjoying the flight?"

"We need more coffee," one of the worms said as another frantically waved for the stewardess to come over with the coffeepot again.

"You should taste the coffee they have in first class. Makes Zed's stuff taste bad," Jay told them.

"Jay, I would suggest going back to your seat now!" Elle said angrily as the worms took off to the front at the mention of fantastic coffee. She pulled herself up and headed down the aisle after them, ignoring the stares from the other passengers as she called, "Boys, get back here! We aren't allowed in first class!"


	4. Chapter 4

Kay looked up, as there was a sudden commotion in the back of first class. What in the world was going on now? He had sent Jay to check on the others in coach to keep him from bothering the stewardesses with his flirting. Things should have been perfectly peaceful. He stood and headed back to see what was going on.

"Boys, please!" Elle cried as she frantically grabbed at the worms, trying to catch them and get them back to their seats. They bounced around the poor stewardess, trapping her, and demanding the good stuff immediately.

"What's going on back here?" Kay said as he came over.

"It's Jay's fault!" Elle cried as she glared at the agent who was slinking past heading for his seat and for the cute stewardess at the front. "He told them there was good coffee up here and they just had to have it!"

"Come on, boys. Back to your seats," Kay said as he reached out and caught two of the worms and Elle cornered the others. They drug them back to coach and quickly stuffed them into the seats again. "Now behave for Elle. We'll be in California in two and a half hours."

"Two and half hours? We'll never make it!" one worm cried as another looked around for the stewardess.

"Oh, stewardess!" they called in unison. "We need another refill!"

"They'll never make it two and a half hours? I'm not going to make it two and a half minutes," Elle grumbled as she slumped back into her seat, glaring over at X who had fallen asleep in his seat and was loudly snoring. She really hoped her will had survived the destruction of headquarters. She had a feeling she was going to need it before this was over. 


	5. Chapter 5

Elle's hands were shaking uncontrollably. Over two hours. She had been forced to set there and listen to X snoring for over two hours! She had tried everything she could think of to stop that noise, shaking him, slapping his face, even forcing herself to doing something revolting and pinch his nose shut. All head done though was to bat her away and then go right back to his loud snores. Apparently fighting an alien invasion made him very sleepy. She didn't know what she was going to do when the plane landed. If she let X live until the plane landed, that is.

She reached down, picking up the pillow that Kay had smuggled out of first class for her. Leaning over, she pressed it against X's face, blocking off his mouth and nose, stopping that horrible noise! She sighed a bit in the blissful silence.

X's eyes flew open as the lack of oxygen finally hit him. He was shocked to see something white over his face, pressing against his nose and mouth keeping him from breathing. he batted at it, frantically trying to push it away but it just wouldn't move! He increased his struggles as his chest begin to burn. He needed air!

"Elle?" Kay said as he came up to the blonde agent, who was pressing the pillow he had given her firmly against X's face, ignoring the alien's struggles. "The plane's on its final approach. You can let him breathe now. We'll be touching down in ten minutes."

"Finally the nightmare is almost over," Elle murmured as she removed the pillow allowing X to gasp loudly for breath.

"Did you see that?" X demanded as he looked up at Kay. "She tried to kill me!"

"Can't say I blame her. We could hear you in first class," Kay said as he started back to the front. "Better fasten your seatbelts. We're almost there."

******

Elle shook her head as she struggled through the crowd at the airport, clinging to the worms to keep them from running off to the airport Starbucks for coffee while clutching Orion's carrier under her arm. At least X was being marginally helpful, pulling a cart with their things and Frank's case behind him.

Elle let out a sigh as she spotted a man in a dark suit holding up a large sign saying MIB. Now maybe she would finally be able to get some rest! She hurried over to him, pulling the worms along and ignoring Orion's frantic meows of complaint.

"Agents Elle and X, the worms, Frank the Pug and family. Where are we supposed to go now?" she asked.

"Go right through that door over there," the agent told them after checking his list. "There's a black van waiting with a white three on it. It will take you to your new living assignment."

Elle stopped short when she saw the van. It seemed so small. How were they all going to fit in there? Just then Zealtor popped his head out. He was in a human suit with a particularly nerdish look to it. He even had little wire rimmed glasses for effect. She could tell it was him by the cheery expression as well as the petri dish he was clutching.

"Ah, Agent Elle! Come right in! It's all comfy cozy in here!" he called motioning for them to join him.

"Elle moved towards the van, gasping when she saw that at least ten other agents were already packed in there. This was never going to work!

"Here you go. Just climb right in," Zealtor said as he reached out, giving the worms a hand in. I believe there's some space in the back next to Agent U. Just pack that luggage in the floor, Agent X. There's plenty of space!"

A little while later, the van headed out onto the highway, Elle crammed up against X so tightly she was almost sitting on his lap. She hoped they got to where they were going to live quickly. She didn't know how long she could stand the odor of pigs without being sick.


	6. Chapter 6

Elle reached out frantically opening the window she was leaning against a bit so she could get some fresh air. That pig smell was just too much for her! Just then she saw a black limo going by. The limo window rolled down and Jay stuck his head out, clutching a sandwich in one hand and a drink in the other. She could see Kay inside as well, busily reading over some papers.

"Look at the wheels we got!" he called to her. "Got a fridge and everything!"

"Jay, I am going to kill you!" Elle shrieked. This was totally unfair. Why was Jay in a limo and she was crammed in here with sixteen other people, seventeen with the driver. She had almost as much senority as Jay!

"Uh, Agent Elle, could you close the window please?" Zealtor asked her. "I don't want Lucy to catch a cold."

Elle reached out, shutting the window with a loud sigh. It was times like this that she wished she was back in her nice safe morgue in her peaceful old life.

*****

A little while later, Elle stumbled out of the van, clutching Orion's case. The cat was frantically meowing, letting her know loud and clear exactly what he thought of being crammed under a seat next to a case full of an inferior species, dogs. Elle staggered in the direction of the woman in black who was apparently handing out living assignments while trying to reassure her pet the nightmare was over. She looked around appreciatively as she approached her. They were on a lovely stretch of beach with fantastic houses all around. Maybe things were finally looking up for her.

"Agent Elle," she said as she reached the woman. The worms, X and the dogs could find their own housing assignment. She just wanted to get to a nice bed and collapse.

"Alright. Here you are," the woman said as she reached down and picked up a box labled tent and handed it to Elle. "You can set up anywhere along the beach between the orange flags. Just don't go below them. We don't want anyone washed away by high tide."

"A tent?" Elle moaned as she stared down at the box.

"Sorry about that. There's a housing shortage. Living assignments were made based on seniority," the woman said as she turned to help the next agent.

"What isn't based on seniority?" Elle muttered as she stagged down the beach with the tent, Orion and her bags. At least things couldn't get any worse.


	7. Chapter 7

Elle fumbled around, trying to get the tent pieces together while holding down the instructions with one knee. This just wasn't working at all and the fact that she suspected the instructions for the construction of this tent were written in some dead and probably alien language weren't helping at all! Orion was frantically meowing in his carrier, clawing at the sides demanding to be freed immediately. How much torture could one cat be expected to suffer? They were on a beach and there was the lovely odor of fresh fish in the air! He wanted his supper immediately!

"I'm sorry," Elle murmured to her cat as she fumbled around, finally getting a few of the poles to go in the right direction. Maybe this thing was faulty or something. "I'll free you as soon as I have our tent up. I don't know why they gave me such a big one."

"Isn't that just like a human? Can't even do a simple task right." X said as he came up to Elle, his arms full of various supplies and baggage. He had shed his human suit and the pig odor was incredibly strong.

"What do you want, X?" Elle grumbled as she glared at him for a moment before turning to the tent again. She thought that she might finally be getting somewhere. At least the tent looked a bit more upright now, anyway.

"You missed the other line. Here you go," X said as he set the things he was carrying down and then shuffled through them for a moment before producing a stack of air mattresses that he promptly shoved into her arms. "Those need inflated and then there are some sheets and stuff that you can use to make them!"

"What?" Elle moaned. What in the world was X trying to pull handing her all of these mattresses and expecting her to.... A chill ran down her back as she sensed impending doom approaching.

Suddenly the worms appeared out of nowhere, also out of their human suits, and loaded down with their coffee supply. Frank and the puppies were following behind with Frank clutching a large box in his mouth.

"Here you go. Cooking supplies and soap. Don't loose the bar. They only issue one per tent," Frank informed her as he looked critically at the work that Elle had done while the pups circled Orion's carrier yipping at the cat. "I don't think that's supposed to be leaning so much."

"Wait a minute. What are all of you doing here?" Elle demanded. "Why aren't you setting up your own tents or something?"

"Here," X said as he handed her a piece of paper. "You will note that this tent has a large number three on the back. Well, it would if you had set it up right. We're assigned to tent three. Let me know when you have my bed fixed."

"Just a minute!" Elle cried as she grabbed X by the ear and stopped him from escaping while she read the paper. Oh, this had to be a nightmare!

"We're roomies!" the worms exclaimed together as they looked at her with huge grins before heading into the tent.

"Wait!" Elle cried as she raced to stop them. "That tent isn't fixed yet!" Just then the tent shuddered and slowly collapsed inward, enveloping the worms in the fabric.

"Little help here?" they called.

"Alright," Elle murmured. She shoved the instructions at Frank. "Here. You read this." She reached over and caught X by the ear again. "Where do you think you're going? Get over here and give me a hand now!"

******

A little bit later, Elle looked over the tent with a sigh. She couldn't believe that they had finally got it up. It had been a struggle with X trying to escape every five seconds and Frank having to stop reading periodically to retrieve a puppy that had wondered off not to mention Orion's continuous meows of misery from the carrier.

"Shouldn't you get to work on those mattresses now?" X asked as she started to head into the tent.

"Wait a minute! Get back here" Elle shouted as she grabbed his ear. "You're not going into my nice clean tent! You smell like pigs! You're taking a nice bath! Frank, see about getting a nice fire pit dug, would you? We'll be right back."


	8. Chapter 8

"Which way to the showers?" Elle demanded as she stormed up to one of the MiB Hollywood agents dragging X behind her by the ear.

"We don't have them set up. Try back tommorrow," the man informed them before turning back to his cell phone conversation over the rights to the movie based on some Stephen King novel.

"You hear him. No showers! Let go of my ear!" X cried. Honestly! He felt just like a little boy being dragged to the bath by his mommy. Now that he thought back, he remembered that experience like it was only yesterday. Then he remembered when his mother did that last, right before he left his home planet to join MiB. She had even held him down and scrubbed his ears so he would look nice and neat for his new friends. He really hoped Elle never ever met his mother.

"No way! You are not setting foot in that tent without a bath!" Elle tapped the agent on the shoulder to get his attention. "Where are the towels?"

"Over there. Two sets per tent," he said as he pointed to another agent and went back to talking as Elle stormed down the beach dragging X.

"Okay," Elle said after she had snatched some towels and drug X to the edge of the water. "Get out of those clothes and get in there."

"What?" X murmured as he stared at the water. It looked very very deep and he wasn't the best swimmer, not that he would let Elle know that! "I'm not bathing in the ocean!"

"Then you're sleeping outside! Now hand over those clothes and get in there! I don't have all day!" Elle said as she glared angrily at him. After a moment of looking at his partner, X decided possible drowning was the better option and quickly stripped down to his boxers, took the soap from Elle and waded into the water. "And don't forget to wash behind those ears! I want to smell nice clean alien when you're done!"


	9. Chapter 9

"May I come out now? I'm clean!" X called a little bit later. It was beginning to get dark and he could barely see Elle on the shore. At least he hoped the figure he was seeing was Elle.

"Did you wash those ears?" Elle called as she looked up from what she was doing, beating his clothes against some rocks to try to get the smell out. She hadn't the vaguest idea of what this was supposed to do to get clothes clean but it was what she had always seen them do in old pioneer movies.

"Yes, I washed my ears! Can I get out now? I think there are sharks out here!" X called as he felt something suspicious brush his leg. He started quickly wading for safety. He would rather risk Elle's wraith than a shark attack when he was clad in only his boxers.

"Well, you smell clean anyway," Elle murmured as she carefully sniffed to be sure the pig smell was gone. Then she motioned towards his clothes. "Please tell me you have something else to wear for tonight!"

"What did you do to my clothes?" X grumbled as he took a towel and walked over to inspect his outfit as he dried off. "It looks like you trying cleaning them with rocks!"

"Well, it works on tv," Elle said defensively as she handed him another towel to wrap around his waist. It was getting a bit chilly. "Come on. Let's get you back to the tent before you get a cold. They're probably handing out medical care in order of senority too."

*******

"Hey, Elle!" Frank called as Elle and X appeared and Elle motioned for X to take his bags and go inside the tent to try to find something to change into. "Found a pump for those air mattresses. Got them nice and inflated for you."

"Finally one thing's going right," Elle muttered as she freed Orion from the carrier. The cat hissed, letting her know loud and clear how displeased he was with the accomidations and her failures as an owner before stalking down the beach in search of a nice fish dinner. "Hey, Frank, I don't suppose someone's been by already with our food, have they?"

"Uh, food," Frank muttered. Elle was not going to like the food situation. "Well, they didn't bring food but they did bring some nice fishing line and a few pots!"

"Fishing line?" Elle moaned as she looked in the box Frank had gestured to with one paw. "Don't tell me, they hand out food in order of senority here too?" At least there was some nice thick rope in there. Maybe she could use it for a clothesline if she ever figured out how to wash the pig smell out of X's outfit.

"Food? Where's the food?" X said as he came out of the tent in his pajamas. Elle fought to hold back a chuckle at the sight. The pajamas were baby blue and covered with cute little smiling cartoonish humans! X glared at her as she held back her laughter. "My mother got them for me. So, where's dinner?"

"If you want something to eat, I have plenty to share," they heard a too cheery voice say from the next tent.

"No," Elle moaned. This was cruel and unusual punishment. She couldn't be living next door to....

Zealtor poked his head out of the tent, holding out a plate filled with something that looked suspiciously like hamburgers, only with a green filling. "Try the seaweed burgers! They're yummy!"

Elle suddenly felt her head spinning as the ground rushed up to meet her. As she blacked out, she had the happy thought that maybe she would wake up in a little while and this would all be some terrible nightmare.


	10. Chapter 10

"What's wrong with Elle?" one of the worms asked as the group poked their heads out of the tent to see what was going on.

"She fainted," X muttered as he knelt down beside her shaking her shoulders as bit to try to wake her. Nothing. She was out like a light.

"I think you need to get a doctor over here or something." Frank said as he padded over and looked critically down at Elle. Pasty white really wasn't a good color on humans.

"You know, I'm a doctor," Zealtor said as he moved forward eagerly to be able to examine his new human specimen.

"Not you," X grumbled. Zealtor was a fellow alien but that didn't mean that he trusted him. "I've heard things about you. You'll probably try removing her brain or something! She's a human! She doesn't have much of a brain in the first place! She' can't afford to loose it! Just stand right over there by your tent and offer suggestions from a safe distance!"

"Alrighty," Zealtor said with a cheerful smile. "I don't suppose they passed out first aid kits, did they? Maybe some nice smelling salts would bring her around."

"What about some nice coffee? That always wakes me up," one of the worms said as he moved forward with a cup held out only to trip over one of the puppies. X cringed as the liquid splashed all over Elle. She was going to kill him for that. Well, she would if she ever woke up. The coffee bath certainly didn't seem to have done anything to help.

"You know you aren't handling that fainting according to MiB regulations," Agent U said as he came out of his tent on the other side of Elle and X's and strolled over, giving X a disapproving look.

"The MiB does not have a regulation on fainting!" X grumbled as he looked down at Elle, trying to figure out how to wake her. If he looked at U, he was going to have to hit him.

"It's regulation 506 in the manual! Don't tell me you never read your MiB handbook!" U exclaimed. He swore that the new agents were getting more and more incompitent by the day.

X glared at U again. This was really just too much. Humans were awful in general but U was the top of the heap in regards to awfulness. "This is my partner that's fainted! I'll handle her the way I want! Why don't you go and have your own partner faint and you can do things exactly by the rulebook? Oh, that's right. You don't have a partner," X said with a sly smile. "Apparently I'm doing a little something right. Zed did issue me one. He gave you rulebooks. Now who do you think Zed likes more?"

X stood, stalking over to U, and grabbed him by the tie. He drug the annoying agent back to his tent and stuffed him inside, securely zipping the tent flap shut and tying it with a nearby piece of rope to prevent escape. Maybe if he was really lucky, U would suffocate in there.

"Isn't she awake yet?" X said as he came back to Elle's side. Zealtor was leaning over her, much closer than X would like.

"Not yet. Are you sure you wouldn't like for me to take a look?" Zealtor asked.

X thought for a moment about what to do before reaching down and picking Elle up. he carried her into the tent, grumbling a bit when he saw that the worms and the dogs had already claimed the middle section. The worms had already decorated it with cans of coffee, what looked suspiciously like Zed's coffeemaker and a framed portrait of some human who X thought he had seen on a coffee commercial once. That left the two side sections for him and Elle. He debated a moment before carrying her into the smaller section and laying her down on the air mattress inside. He would never fit in there but it looked nice and cozy for a human.

X looked up to find Zealtor had followed him in and was standing in the flap leading to Elle's section of the tent. X stood and moved over to the alien doctor, patting him down quickly to make sure he had no sharp instruments on him for removing brains before motioning him over to Elle's side. "You're a doctor," he grumbled. "Get her out of those coffee soaked clothes! I'll go and get her things."


	11. Chapter 11

X dug throught Elle's surviving clothes trying to find something that looked like it would be comfortable for her to rest in. Suddenly his fingers brushed something cylindrical in shape. He pulled out the object he had touched, which was some sort of pink tube like thing, that after fumbling with it for a bit, was found to be full of cotton. X smiled in delight at his find. the perfect tinder to get a nice roaring fire going. He could see a couple of the MiB Hollywood group moving down the line of tents handing out firewood rations for the night. he searched the bag again and managed to find more of the cotton tubes. He was stacking them neatly by the fire pit for use when the wood arrived just as Zealtor came out of the tent. 

"Well, I have Agent Elle undressed. What are those?" he asked as he reached down and picked up one of the tubes and begin to examine it.

"Be careful with that! That's tinder for starting our fire tonight! I found them in Elle's bag!" X exclaimed as he reached up and snatched the tube away. He didn't want Zealtor to mess up his nice tinder. He reached into the bag again and this time touched some sort of smooth material. A moment later he pulled out a short, black, silk nightgown with dainty spaghetti straps and a plunging neckline. "Here. You can put her in this. I saw Agent Jay looking through a catalogue once that was just filled with nightclothes like this!"

"This is what human females wear to bed?" Zealtor asked with a puzzled expression. "It doesn't seem very warm."

"You should have seen some of the other things that were in that catalogue. Humans have no shame," X grumbled as the MiB Hollywood agents finally arrived with the wood. He quickly took it and got to work laying out the fire, using a match from the box of supplies they had been given earlier to light one of the tubes and then adding other tubes until the wood caught. Just as he had thought. The perfect tinder and the perfect fire, not that you could expect anything less than perfection from such a superior species as his. "You better get her into it though. She'll be very upset if she doesn't wake up dressed in typical shameless human fashion."


	12. Chapter 12

X stared critically at the fire. It was perfect, of course, but it lacked a certain something, food to cook on it. Now where was he going to get food?

"Hey, where's the food?" Frank called. "I have five hungry mouths to feed here!"

"I have no idea where the food is," X grumbled as he dug though the boxes, frowning at the fishing line. Surely they didn't expect them to catch their own meals!

Frank growled at X just as Orion came santering up with a large dead fish in his mouth. "Hey, cat!" the alien called as soon as he spotted the fish. "where did you get that fish?" Surely if one stupid cat could find food, he could as well.

Orion looked over at the dog with a long suffering look. It was bad enough that he had been forced to share a van ride crammed up to such an inferior species. Now they wanted him to feed them as well? how did these things ever survive before they met cats? Orion carefully deposited his fish on the ground and waved with a paw in the direction of a pier towards the end of the beach, adding a few meows to let the dog know exactly where the food was. Goodness knows that a dog would never find fresh fish on its own.

"Thanks, cat!" Frank called as he rounded up the puppies and started down the beach. He really hoped that cat hadn't snagged the only fish.

"Orion. Nice Orion," X called in what he hoped was a cat pleasing tone. He and Elle's cat hadn't exactly been friends before. He crept towards the cat, intent on snatching the fish. It would be a perfect supper!

Just as X lunged at the cat, Orion leaped away and fled down the beach, hopping onto the top of Agent U's tent to try to escape with his dinner.

"Give, me that fish!" X called as he lunged for Orion again. "I'm an alien! Aliens should eat first!" His lunge had gone a bit too long though, sending him crashing into U's tent and bringing the entire thing down on U's head as Orion fled into the night with his dinner. X could swear that the cat stopped for a moment to stick his tongue out before making his escape.

"Stupid cat, annoying just like Elle," X grumbled as he headed back towards the tent. U could just escape the wreckage and rebuild on his own! Now what was he supposed to do for food?

As he approached the tent, he could hear the worms complaining. "Look!" one demanded the second they appeared. "They cheated us on the plane!"

"We demand our free coffee! Not these things!" another worm said as he shoved a small plastic wrapped item at X. The alien took it and looked carefully at it in the dancing firelight. Peanuts. Weren't those things edible?

"Where did you get these?" he demanded, snatching a worm up.

"On the plane. They had a whole box full," the worm told him.

"We thought they were coffee! We want coffee!" the fourth said.

"You have ten cans full of grounds!" X grumbled as he glared at the aliens, sending them quivering into silence. "Now why don't you go and get all of the peanuts you took and bring them out here. Maybe if you're quick about it, I'll see about getting you some new filters for your coffeepot." Finally there was food!!


	13. Chapter 13

Elle slowly blinked her eyes, straining in the dim light to see a dark shape looming above her. Where in the world was she? It didn't feel like her bedroom.

"Ah! You're awake! Excellent!" Zealtor exclaimed as he leaned down and peered into Elle's face with a large smile. "So, how are you feeling?"

Elle let out a large sigh at the sight of that grin as the memory of what happened came rushing back She was in a tent in California surrounded by aliens and facing possible starvation. She shut her eyes with a load moan. She could not face this now. Maybe if she closed her eyes and went to sleep, she would wake up and find out that it was all a dream.

"Oh, no! Don't go to sleep! That won't do at all!" Zealtor said as he reached out and shook her a bit. "I wonder if you hit your head when you fainted? Maybe I should just run over to my tent and get a few supplies."

"No supplies! You'll remove her brain!" X called as he came into Elle's section of the tent, bending down to fit in and carrying several bags of peanuts in his hands. "It's tiny as all human brains are. She can't afford to loose it!"

"I think I've already lost my mind," Elle moaned as she opened her eyes again. Yep. The aliens were still there.

"But she might have hit her head," Zealtor explained to X, ignoring Elle completely. "It won't take me but a minute to run over and get a few things to..."

"Hit her head?" X muttered as he knelt down beside Elle and reached out, raising her head a bit so he could inspect the back for any possible wounds. Humans were just so fragile, yet another problem with the species as a whole. "Nothing looks wrong."

"But she keeps passing out and...."

"I wasn't passing out! I was closing my eyes and hoping when I opened them, this would all be a dream!" Elle cried as she glared at them. How could they just talk about her like she wasn't there.

"I think she's fine. Temper's back, anyway," X muttered as he held out a bad of peanuts. "Here. I found food for us."

"Peanuts?" Elle murmured as she took the bag in shock. She was going to have to live on a bag of peanuts?

"The worms stoled them from the plane," X explained. "Eat up. There's more where that came from. Over a hundred bags more."

Elle slowly pulled herself into a sitting position and opened the bag, pulling out a peanut and placing it in her mouth, slowly chewing as she thought. What had she ever done to deserve her life ending up like this.


End file.
